There's an unspoken rule in webcomics theory and criticism. We must always judge people on the strength of their achievements. In my opinion, this overlooks one significant critical element. Whether or not the people we're judging are good-looking. I mean, honestly, I would think that Chex's meta-commentary about webcomics theorists would be evidence enough of that. I know I don't read webcomics unless I think that the artists are hot. If I've never seen a picture, I make a reference. Would a sexy person have drawn this? It's a question we should all be asking ourselves. In any case, I thought SOMEONE ought to be the one to start us off on judging people by their appearances rather than their accomplishments. There's not enough of that in the world.

So, here are my picks for the best looking webcomic artists of 2005. Keep in mind, this is going to be alphabetical to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. And it is for the most part determined by whether or not there are pictures of these webcomic artists that I may have been able to find.



John Allison of Scary Go Round: Look at that earnest British face, and that tousled British hair, and those snaggled British teeth. He's so charming that even talking so incomprehensably as his characters couldn't make you love him any less.

Tom Brazelton of Theater Hopper: Is that the reincarnation of Clark Gable I spy? Look at that clean-shaven Iowa boy with the earnest eyes. Too bad he's quite married, or I'd say: Why yes, I would like to see a movie. ALL NIGHT LONG!

Mitch Clem of Nothing Nice to Say: Some of the ladies love the unshaven crazy-types, and I'm one of them! Aside from the sexiness of punk rock snark, I personally am digging on this Texas-relocated Minnesotan's fantastic roman nose. How regal is that?

Shaenon Garrity of Narbonic: I'm not much for the ladies, myself, but Shaenon has everything going for her. A winning smile, flowing chestnut hair, and my God, those earbobs are fantastic! I wonder where she got those? I'm also a fan of bangs, and Shaenon pulls them off well, here, which is only part of why she's on this list.

Ghastly of Ghastly's Ghastly Comic: Oh my, I'm speechless. I... I just don't know what to say. The rippling, manly chest. The pipe and tie. It's like a masterpiece in flesh. All I know about Ghastly is that when he ravages you with a tentacle, he does it right. And that's just about all I need to know.

Brad Guigar of Evil, Inc.: Now here's the Doctor Drew of webcomics. Guigar's other comic, Courting Disaster, is also an advice column, where readers answer questions posed in email to Guigar. But look at that kind, open, tender face. I'm all a-flutter.

Starline X Hodge of Candi: Keenspot's newest freshman is a cutie, that's for sure. I envy her hair and her figure. She's also very adept at taking lovely artistic pictures of herself. But the thing that put her over the line is her exotic, sexy middle name. Xiomara. Whether it's the name on her birth certificate or not, it's edgy and dangerous! Brava, Miss Hodge.

Kazu Kibuishi of Copper: Here's one of those sexy Japanese boys I've been talking about. ME-OW! I can't get over his eyebrows. They're like twin moth's wings. And his hair is so meticulous and spiky! It's like a party all the time on Kazu Kibuishi's head. I think I'll write a haiku about it, if I may be so stereotypical.

The beat of my heart
His bangs flowing like fountains
while moths fly beneath

Kittyhawk of Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki: Under that Velma-like helmet of wispy mousy-brown hair, the impish face betrays the true nature of the beast. I believe the reason that Kittyhawk's updates have been so scarce is because of her insatiable appetite for sexy mischief. I mean, why else get married in Vegas!?

Gianna Masetti of The Noob: A noob herself, with her comic only a year old, Miss Masetti has the innocent girl-next-door look about her. Perhaps there's an ingenue underneath, eh?

Zach Miller of Joe and Monkey Ah, the cautious look. Like a wily lion on the veldt, Zach seems like the type to stalk his prey, slowly, unendingly, until SNAP! He has you in his grasp. And you, disarmed by his startling blue eyes, are not struggling quite as hard as you should be.

Jon Rosenberg of Goats: A rugged, blurry man, Mr. Rosenberg has hair that models would kill for, and a beard that has killed many a man with jealousy. His gaze seems to say, "I know why you stare, and it is because I am so very handsome." Why has this man not been contracted to model for the covers of romance novels yet? Harlequin must be KICKING themselves.

Kristopher Straub of Starslip Crisis: I don't even know what to say. Every pixel of this picture is sacred to those who worship sexiness. The pose, the eyes, the lips! Dear Lord, the GUNS! (faints dead away)

Paul Taylor of Wapsi Square: What can I say about this understated genius? The resting pose, the refined nature of the black-and-white photo... The day this man was married, millions of women's voices cried out in despair and were silenced.


Jin Wicked of Crap I Drew on My Lunch Break: The last entry on our list, Jin Wicked is a paragon of webcomics sexiness. Whether she's advertising Josh Lesnick's Tees or promoting her art, she's always out there, being a sexy face for webcomics. She should be commended, and I would do so, except that when she's done being out there for webcomics, she goes home to her dishy boyfriend Matt. And for that, I can never forgive her. That's right Jin Wicked. You're on my LIST.

Honorable Mentions include Josh Lesnick of Girly, who is fuzzy and likes kitties (<3) and Ian J. of RPG World, who is irritated when people link his comic, since he's on hiatus. Neither of them could I find pictures for, though they're both sexy, sexy beasts.


Disclaimer: Do not be offended if you were not included on such a list, even if I know who you are and have met you. Likely I was just unable to find a usable picture, I am sure you are quite sexy.

Many pictures stolen wholesale from Comixpedia.org's article on influential webcomics people. Please don't sue my blog.